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Grandpa Rick is a grumpy person that is occasionally nice.. occasionally..Anyway he's been working on this blog template for the about 2 days and is pretty bothered by the fact that it took him so long to remember how to use Macromedia Dreamweaver again. His help eventually came in the form of LYC his "son" and miss poutyface his mei.. With the utmost torment by lawrence to work hard, he finally was able to create this below average template with (finally!) working layers. Go ahead and have a good time reading (or laughing at) this blog and above all remember that God loves you. Grandpa Rick is in actual fact 19 (just barely) at the point of completion of this blog template (26th October 2006) having already had his birthday on the 22nd of October. Born
into a family with a father that lacks hair and a brother that has too
much of it growing on his legs, Grandpa Rick grew up traumatised by
his older brother that occasionally liked to sit on him and has a weird
fetish thing going on with anime figurines. His parents however were
a blessing to him and aside from the odd argument from time to time,
Grandpa Rick usually listens to them. He also has a poor traumatised
younger sister that is constantly the butt of his fat jokes (though
it cannot be helped seeing as to how she walks into most if not all
of them) but he tries to take good care of her.. operative word being
TRY of course. All in all poor Grandpa Rick has been traumatised by
his siblings when he was younger and now get along with them more or
less fine.. However the trauma he suffered as a child has given him
quite the quirky attitude to life. The biggest influence to his life however is God. Grandpa Rick old (or young if you want) as he is is deeply in love with God. The person that has helped him through all his troubled times and the one that has sent many a friend his direction when he needed help. God has always been there for him and Grandpa Rick is very grateful. He often gets inspired by God to write poetry (which can be found along with other things in all "All that good stuff") or songs without the lyrics in tribute of God. Grandpa Rick believes that God died to save him from all sin and believes that God is his lord and saviour. Through many close and personal encounters with God, Grandpa Rick is certain about God's love and God's plan for his life. He hopes to live in God's way and let God guide him in all that he does. Of course, Grandpa Rick is still learning and is prone to the occasional (oh alright, frequent) mistake. But the key point here is that Grandpa Rick loves God and that there is nothing that he wouldn't do for Him. Finally
it is to be said that it isnt a good thing to get Grandpa Rick angry..
you see old people dont handle anger very well and goodness knows what
happens when Grandpa Rick goes over the edge.
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This is the All that good stuff layer.. in here will be my personal top 10 or top 20 list of songs to hear.. (be very prepared for alot of punk rock) also included will be all the poetry that i have ever written almost all of which are God inspired.. just becasue God is so good to me! other things may be added i guess.. like pictures and stuff if i have the time (and if i actually do take pictures). This is an experimental layer basically where all the stuff i think about (most of them very weird.. you have officially been warned) that dont go into my post will be posted here. alright lets get started Top
20 Praise and Worship Songs (this list may and most probably will change) 20.
For This Cause Top 20 Other Songs (again list might and most probably will change) 20.
Emotionless Top
5 bands the secret link to what i really think Amusing or meaningful statements i've made or heard (statement in front source behind) "You're
gona be a what?! .. wait wait this is big shit.." - Brian "Im
a vegetarian.. but i eat chicken and fish and pork and..." - Jason
ng Poetry (expect this to be very long) Longings
of my soul My
Praise to Him my worship to God if
all you actions were your worship to God Kester's Ego Booster kester
is a ladies man though
he keeps denying that he's hot even
the other guys in church why
does he keep denying it cos
kester ur hot why dont u see? he
sucks all girls like a strong magnet i
must say that though he's short when
the street he walks down by jealous
guys from everywhere girls
will find him quite a guy of
course he'll always be the first they
love his cute manly name but
more even better is his mass appeal you'll
see his face on every wall cos
around him they all turn ape his
muscular arms that are oh so strong the
lime was not ordinary kester
kiong you are so hot and
after that mayb go out how
to reply? was what he thought but
then he thought nah im too young i'll
wait till i am much older thus
ends our tale of kester the hot i
wonder the reaction we will get Turn to Him!
Dreams these
dreams they haunt my sleep at night All He's done for me through
my darkest lonely days Use me God take
this heart O God and work Your wonders In His Name the
world is in turmoil Hurt lock
me up and throw away the key Did you know? did
you know when you're alone Purpose i
ask the reason for my birth My life Hurt
and alone The beast in my heart as
the night falls still and shadows loom |
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
recently i was thinking about mortality, the whole death thing. how does it actually feel like to draw your last breath and so on? i mean wouldnt there still have to be some form of pain involved? i dont know, no matter how i try to picture it i somehow refuse to believe that we all have some sort of internal breath counter that counts down the number of breaths that we have left to take.. rather, i envision the final moments of a person being one where he struggles for his last breaths, painful deep breaths that come after much struggle, like being choked.. now with that in mind i have no idea how people came up with the phrase "passed away peacefully".
also aside from the physical pain that is involved, there always is that emotional pain. and believe me when i say that many a times its alot worse then the physical. reason being physical pain can be blocked out. i for one am very resistant to physical pain, so much so that when i dislocated my elbow a few months back i didnt realise it until i tried to push myself up. emotional pain however, no matter how much you say you are numb to it, somehow always gets stronger. for example, no matter how many times you get rejected by a girl or guy that you like, the feeling is always the same. assuming you really like the person (i for one should know this very well haha!) anyway i tried to imagine what would be going on in the mind of the person during his final hours, and you know people are right when they say that you think about the people you've loved and so on. at least thats what i thought of when i tried putting myself in the shoes of someone that knows they are dying. so then, the more i thought about it the more puzzled i got. i mean if someone lay there dying, gasping for breath and literally slowly having the life sucked out of them. which is painful.. trust me i almost drowned as a kid and i know how it feels like. and at the same time feeling all this emotional pain, think about it.. if ur a parent or grandparent, you'd be leaving behind some people that you have known all their lives. people whom you love and care about. people you spent your life raising and molding and stuff. kinda hard eh? now if lets say you're alone in your room with no one around. no one to hold your hand and no one to realise that you've passed on for lets say the next couple of hours.. scary thought isnt it? with all that in mind how can one say that the person "passed away peacefully"? now this bounced around in my head for a good 20 minutes, because the more i thought about it the more puzzled i became. until it finally hit me. much like how my father used to hit me on the head when i did something stupid. acceptance. thats the key thing about the whole thing. yes you may be struggling for breath, yes you may know that you are leaving behind people you love and may be alone during your final hours. but acceptance. accepting that it is your time to go, accepting that the people you care about will remember you for who you are. (in my case a rascal that thinks too much for his own good and posted this morbid post on mortality) accepting that even though you lie there dying in pain or not that you have made a difference in the life of someone. accepting the fact that there is nothing left for you to do. so what does this all mean? goodness i sound like an adult or someone giving a sermon.. but anyway i guess that at the end of the day it all comes down to our outlook on life at any one point in time. we can choose to see it as one that we can say we dont really care whats going on and continue to feel sorry and sad for ourselves. or we can approach each situation with confidence in God knowing that He will pull us through. i dont know if this whole post is making sense to anyone else but me but yea.. i feel that at the end of the day the outlook makes a world of difference. not only in the instances before death but i guess in each and every situation that we go through. as i said a few lines above (extra time said for extra emphasis) for me, it means that in every situation i care only about the opinions of the people that matter. God, my close friends and so on in this way, i wont be bogged down by the views of others that dont matter to me. to be truthful, i dont give much of a rat's ass if they think im doing it wrong because their opinions dont matter. but before you go criticising my way of doing things hear me out. the only reason i do that is because, all the council i need is given to me by God, i.e. God, my parents, friends and teachers (of course the opinions of the teachers matter right? they give you your grade what..) so right, why be bogged down by people whose opinions of you do not matter? i.e. the people that dont like you or just like to criticise others. because, no matter how you do it, chances are they are likely to find something wrong with your reasoning and pick on it. so why subject yourself to it? because in the end you try to please everybody and the situation goes out of control. again trust me on this, i have tried many times and i dare say almost all the times it failed.. miserably.. as in really miserably.. like you do the opposite of what you're trying to do miserable. anyway im drifting.. when i think i drift alot..so much so that i would have been a better choice for lead actor in the movie initial D. but when i drift it kinda centers arnd the same topic as well. anyway back to the point. outlook. right so if outlook matters shouldnt we then be trying to change our outlook in each and every situation that we're in? not easy eh? but just think.. if your outlook during your final moments makes such a huge difference between going "peacefully" or not. what more your outlook when you are still living? in each situation wouldnt handling it with the outlook that it would be better to give it a try so no one can blame you for not doing it or more importantly, so you wont blame yourself for not trying it in the future. or just doing something cos you know that it will make a difference in someone or a group of people's lives if it succeeds and try to make it succeed. i mean im sure its a much better outlook than "dont want la.. if i do this.. people sure call me stupid one" well how would you know unless u try it right? if the potential outcome brings benefit to others why not? thats how i always saw things. (which is the main reason for me always doing dumb stuff) however please note that i will not be made responsible for any guys (or girls for that matter) giving indecent proposals (or just plain proposals mind you) to the members of the opposite gender and concequently getting their hearts (or faces, egos, noses etc..) broken. remember its all the outlook in life.. so if you do try telling a girl you like her and get your heart broken and so on and so forth, remember outlook! if its not her.. theres probably someone out there better suited for you..for example. people that give indecent proposals.. there's probably a girl/guy out there that enjoys this kinda thing.. go find her. im sure she'll/he'll be glad to have you. ok if you have read to this point.. congratulations.. you've just read through about 40 - 45 minutes of my thought life once again.. yes yes alot of stuff goes on in here *taps head* many of which you really really dont want to know of. trust me on this.. sometimes what i think about disturbs even me.. |
The
Links layer.. people like little miss pouty face will reside in this
hole.. So far in the links page.. (by surnames then nicknames then finally real name) Ang
(Krayle) Rachel |
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